Passion

I believe I can fly

I believe I can touch the sky

I think about it every night and day

Spread my wings and fly away

  
 Those days i feel i miss too many special things and feelings in my life, one of the most things i deadly miss is writing in English although i always write in english scientific issues related to my work, but from many years i stopped writing free english topics and that's why i decided to write now in English, in my blog, for the first time and might be the last..

I used to be to some extent good in English Language, i had got a B in my IGCSE but now i feel like i lost a lot of my vocabulary and  fluency, as i don't use it in my daily life at all, since i was student i used to talk with my friends in English, that's why sometimes nowadays i say HI when i meet somebody,  people thought am pretending or something like that so am always trying to stop using English words while talking, also since i started writing in my blog i lost my interest in reading English novels or books at all..but may be i 'll return back..

  We always look to satisfy our needs according to (Maslow's pyramid of needs), first of all basic needs food and drink, second.. safety needs security and protection, third.. social needs family and love, fourth.. esteem self confidence and people respect, then the last and most important need from my point of view..self-actualisation, how we think about ourselves, the measure of challenge and success in our life, i believe that happiness itself is success and not all success is happiness, and to be happy you must satisfy your soul, that's why i adore Mageda El-Romy when she sings


 "أنا لا أُحبك من أجل شال حريرٍ..أو عطرٍ مثيرٍ و لكن أحبك حتى أحقق ذاتي"


Oh my God i still insist in writing in Arabic :) here she is saying i don't want love related to luxurious life or even sexual desires..i just want love that make me satisfy my self-actualisation, i want that very special need to be the one and in response to make him the one..simple but quite impossible.


That's why sometimes i feel depressed, the main reason for my depression is that i lost passion in life, am always in love, with my sweet family, my friends, my job, and my blog, but...how to keep passion? it seems not a big issue, however its the issue of my life, i don't want to live just because i am breathing, live to eat, work,  marry, give birth, and raise children, i want to live every special moment, to enjoy my life and allow others to enjoy with me..but unfortunately i can't.

Why am so fragile? i wish i could be more tough..life is not for fragile persons..they must stay in their shells..


But i still laugh, love, and dream, and i will always do, even if i was broken, not because am strong but because of FAITH also am always surrounded with lovely persons, even if am not so friendly with them (theory of the shell) but i still feel their love.


Finally i didn't dream to be a writer or even a pharmacist, i did't dream with luxurious life, i just want satisfaction from Allah, may Allah give me what i really need.